Digression IV

Thanks to Kim Plaintive for the Foto Fun inspiration! Anyhow, look at this picture and tell me what's wrong with it? Some context - I took this picture on a New York City subway a couple of weeks ago at 11:oo pm. I'll disclose the entire story tomorrow.

Bathroom Smell II

I just got back from lunch and decided to take a short journey from the little shop to the mens' bathroom. I opened up the door, stepped inside and inhaled normally. I started to choke immediately as I could not fully breath with the foul smell that had infiltrated so sacred a room. Can someone answer this question for me? What bodily function can a person possibly perform that would create a stink the smells like a cross of shit and vomit? I doubt someone took a shit and then vomited in the same trip, so what could it possibly be? Anyone else have similar experiences with so foul a smell?

The Director Is A Perv

Today I sat down to a heartly lunch with Babs, the Director, and a friend of mine from high school named Evan. Evan was telling us of his adventures running and his plans to run in the next New York Marathon. After some conversing, we start discussing some of the good running schools aound the country when the Director mentions that she saw NYU's cross country team running up Fifth Avenue, with nothing on but shorts: "They looked very good - I stopped and stared for a little while... yup, they definitely looked really good." Do 55+ year old women look at college dudes like that? I've heard of dirty old men, but dirty old women too??? Craziness...

Can I Get Some Attention

Babs is an attention whore. It's sad to say, but true. It's also sad to say, but not everyone likes her, though she seems to believe otherwise. Which is why, for some odd reason, she always seems to find something negative to say about anyone that passes her by without talking to her or gives her sideways looks. Needless to say, there was an "incident" today which brings me to this conclusion. Lets proceed.

There's a great older lady that works in another office. She's Argentinian and sooo grand-motherly it's not even funny. Whenever I see her I want to go up to her give her a big hug and tell her she's the greatest thing since cheesecake. Anyhow, me and he have a really nice relationship, especially since we are both big fans of the Yankees. So, she walks into the little shop today, and quickly looks past Babs. "Hey Sue, the Director...." Sue jumps in a chair next to me as she brushed past Babs and says, "So did you see the game last night???!!" Even though Babs almost whispered her hello, she still looked pretty miffed that she was ignored. Anyhow, we had a grand conversation about the Yankees and about some of our kids before finally taking off.

As soon as she was gone, Babs yells "So, what she didn't even see me?!!?!?" "I can't believe she didn't even say nothing to me!!!" Get over it Babs, not everyone likes you...

White People and Ghosts, Black People and Water and Digression Part III

When I was a kid I used to watch a ton of horror movies. I couldn't get enough of them - ghosts, monsters, vampires, the evil un-dead - you name it, I loved it. I especially loved the supernatural - tales that involved demons ghosts and good old fashion battles with the devil. These movies, while entertaining always left me with a puzzling question. Why did White people always stay in the house after they figured out that there was a damn ghost?? You knew they hated them, so why stay around and get possessed, get sucked into a TV, or get the shit scared out of you on a daily basis? You know you're not going to beat a ghost and reclaim your home so why try? I never could figure it out, especially knowing that most sensical Black people would break out and sell the house when they get within first earshot of the all too famous ghost line of "get out." Silly TV white people.

Anyhow, this gets me to my point. It's been really sad and crazy looking at all the destruction that hurricane Katrina left behind in the south. It's just crazy. But while perusing through the news and looking at the papers, there is one astounding trend I've noticed. Everyone is Black!! Why are all the people who decided to stay back and challenge a HURRICANE Black??? We all know that Black people generally don't like water, so why stay back to have to escape an ocean of water coming to engulf your city!! And all these fools were warned! When the mayor tells you "Get out of the city, there is a lot of water coming in the form of a deadly hurricane" you leave!! At least I would... Anyhow, so I will never again question why White people stay in haunted houses, cause we Black people are like them - We like to stay to see a hurricane...

Did you also catch the news coverage of looting? Does it seem like all the looters are black? Check this...

The Bathroom

Hi folks. I walked into the Little Shop a few minutes late today, and after having had been on a train for about 45 minutes I had to pee. I walked from my office into our reception area, passing by the women's bathroom. The bathroom was under some sort of repair, so it was wide open for all to see the wonders it contained. It smelled like sweet perfume, there were flowers on the counter-top, and there were about three stalls for womens' use. Additionally, it was well lit, there is a huge mirror, and a very nice sink. All of these revelations were quite a surprise to me since the majority of people within our larger walls are indeed male. Why did the few women have such nice amenities?

I walked through the reception area to the other side of the front desk, and retreated to the men's bathroom. I opened the door to come face to face with a foul, just been shat in odor, and a very faint trace of very poor air freshener. There is only one toilet, one small sink, and a mirror that is always dirty. As I held my breath and nose from the foul stench, I did my business while noticing the nice brown marks that the previous user had left behind just for me. I left quickly, returned to my desk, and pondered what I just witnessed. A women's bathroom that is pristine and can accomodate 4 to 5 women who could anything imaginable that one would want to do in a bathroom (brush one's teeth, check make-up etc.), and a men's bathroom that is often locked because it can only accompany one occupant, with a stained toilet, and no space to procrastinate. When did women gain the upper hand in the potty war?